Morning Practice
Good morning! I started what I like to call my morning practice, because I have a tendency to be a rather anxious and fear driven person (cue the jaw drops from all of those who know me). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that managing my anxiety, mood and general ability to be productive is really a life long practice and I’m learning to do a better and better job taking care of myself. Rather than creating a dogmatic routine, I’m trying to cultivate a consistent pattern of behaviors that allow me to be the best version of myself, in my partnership, my firm and my life. I spent a lot of years pushing, pushing to achieve, pushing to graduate, pushing to pay off debt, pushing to be the best, and I kind of pushed myself off a cliff. I hit my late 20s and I had created a relative sense of security for myself financially, the intense push slowed. I realized I’d lived the last 15 years of my life or so on this 6 inch wide sidewalk with enormous brick walls built up on either side - my sole focus and definition of success had been seeking financial gain. That was it, the bonus, the paycheck is what I chased, it was safety for me. I am trying to learn how much more interesting and dynamic life can be than that life with brick wall blinders. These tools have been a way to help disassemble the walls and to see so much outside of them that I was missing out on. I encourage you to incorporate what works for you and drop whatever doesn’t. We so often force ourselves to engage in what doesn’t serve us, let’s knock it off.
So here’s a barebones look at what I’m working with first thing in the morning - contrary to basically every leadership/self help book, I don’t wake up before the sun. I love to sleep and am at a time in my life where the only helpless being in our house I have to look after is the dog, and she can wait to pee until about 7/7:30. I value sleep, I love the reset and have put quite a bit of work into my sleep practice too. So I sleep to make sure I’ve given myself 8 or so hours of rest.
Once I’m up, I head to our living room armed with water (in a giant Hydroflask with a straw lid) and usually a cup of coffee (more on this later).
One thing the push that drove my first 28 years or so taught me is that you really can power through a lot and have no idea how you’re doing emotionally or physically. I got to the point where my stress would create incredible physical reactions, fully body hives, trips to the ER and just general numbness to how I was really doing. I was so unwilling to slow down and sit with how I was feeling, I just missed it. One of the most impactful tools I’ve found is Morning Pages. A friend of mine introduced me to The Artist’s Way - and Julia Cameron’s idea about this tool is rooted in developing creativity. The biggest gift her methodology gave me was diminishing my inner critic. Growing up, I didn’t understand how my mom got so much out of journaling, she could just write and write and I always got caught up by how my thoughts looked on paper, how they sounded, just constant evaluation. I was unable to write for so many years because I couldn’t get out of my own way. It’s shifted for me now and using morning pages to free some space in my ever crowded head helps me take stock of where I’m really at rather than blindly pushing forward and avoiding sitting with what’s actually going on. When you’re aware of truly how you’re feeling, your needs, your wants, you can do something about them and actually take care of yourself. I’m embarrassed to realize at 30 how much room I have to improve on knowing how to actually take care of myself.
An awesome addition to Morning Pages is some kind of devotional, I like to bounce back and forth between books focused on spirit and the universe as well as those designed to cultivate particular qualities. Devotionals can act as a prompt to set an intention for the day or for a kicking off point for your morning pages. I’m currently just starting The Maxwell Daily Reader, I like the idea of some outside influence when I’m working on elevating leadership skills.
This is a natural place to sneak in your gratitude list. If you can’t get to anything else in the morning, I think the gratitude list is a great place to start. Remind yourself through all the noise in your head that there are always things to be grateful for.
First thing in the morning, especially as someone who tends to be sllllightly on the neurotic side - I am very intentional about what I consume, both physically and mentally. Since I’ve really acknowledged (and hopefully embraced) my anxiety, I see and take seriously the things that can increase and decrease the intensity of it. Maintaining my water, alcohol and caffeine intake at comfortable levels work wonders for me. I make sure water is a huge part of the morning (can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning), and I make a decision about how much caffeine I’m taking in. I check in physically and decide if it’s a coffee or tea morning, is it a coffee with fiber morning, is it a water with magnesium morning? All of these check ins create another opportunity for me to feel where I actually am rather than just powering through and ignoring my internal wellbeing.
Here’s the other part about it I like, these decisions can create a ritual. If I’m having a coffee morning, I get to use my french press, boil the water, start my day slowly and by making something, it’s an introduction to the day that’s a lot more palatable than a blinding iPhone screen while I lie in bed. I also do my best (and really struggle here) to pay attention to what I take in mentally first thing. I choose specific podcasts I want to listen to, I am careful about the news I consume, I am constantly cleaning my list of followed accounts on Instagram. I want to make sure that I own the idea that this is my life. This is my day, and I get to run it how I want to. These mental distractions are really hard for me. I am someone who feels it all - I need to be very careful of what I allow in.
I hope if anything, this list gives you an idea of a starting point that might work for you - hope it’s a wonderful morning and start to the week!